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Making our patients feel special is always a major goal of the Connecticut Hospice Interdisciplinary Team. Helping our patients and family members to make the most of their time together and to make new memories is another rewarding focus of our work.
Recently our team came together creatively to help make hospice patient Catherine Simpson’s birthday a very special event for her and her family.
Knowing her birthday was approaching, Cathy’s caregivers casually asked what sort of cake she would like, and she shared that having her favorite ice cream cake was one of her final wishes. Big Y stepped in to donate a large ice cream cake, while Social Work and Arts Department staff prepared for a surprise birthday party with a twist.
Balloons decorated her room, along with a giant birthday banner, hand-painted by staff artist Karen Burgess and adorned with her favorite cat pictures.
Coming as a surprise to Cathy, arrangements had quickly been made for her to have a Zoom Party with three generations of family members who live out of state.
Sporting a tiara, and assisted with her make up by her CNA, Cathy saw her beloved sister, nieces and nephews far away in Nevada and California.
Each member of the family took it in turns to share a special memory of the patient with her. During this precious birthday “visit”, she smiled broadly and shed joyful tears. She clearly felt their love, and was able to say “I love you” to her closest family members “face-to-face” even though they are far away.
On speaking to the team later, Cathy’s sister said
“She looks so very happy. I can’t thank you enough for all the wonderful things you do and have done for my beautiful sister. I will be forever grateful”.
Permission was given to publish this story and the patient's name.
Connecticut Hospice is pleased to join forces once again with Branford Parks and Recreation Department to offer the Hospice Pool Program.
Socially distanced swimming is easy when our pool is Olympic-sized, and numbers are kept low.
Add beautiful views of Long Island Sound and ample free parking, and there's no reason not to join us.
Options include; Open Swim, Aquacise Classes, and Senior Swim.
For eligibility and details, please visit: Branford Parks & Recreation Hospice Pool Program
We are delighted that clinical rotations have recommenced at Connecticut Hospice, following a temporary hold forced by COVID-19.
On July 13 CEO Barbara Pearce and Medical Director Dr. Joseph Sacco welcomed Hospice and Palliative Care Fellows Dr. Alex Choi and Dr. Bryan Terry for orientation prior to their rotations with Connecticut Hospice in partnership with Yale-New Haven Medical Center's Hospice and Palliative Medicine Fellowship Program.
While at Connecticut Hospice, they will spend time Inpatient and in Home Care with the Interdisciplinary Team, and will expand their knowledge and experience in all aspects of hospice and palliative care, including:
Recognized nationally and internationally as a pioneering hospice and palliative care teaching institution through its educational branch, The John D. Thompson Hospice Institute for Education and Learning, Connecticut Hospice is proud to share its expertise with clinicians from around the country and the world. We look forward to welcoming Dr. Faisal Radwi of Saudi Arabia shortly.
Hospice Caregivers are daily in the presence of people who are in need of support and comfort, whether they are a patient whose illness is causing them physical suffering or emotional angst, or they are a family member in grief for the imminent or recent loss of someone they love.
In the previous two installments of our series on Spiritual Care in Difficult Times, Connecticut Hospice Pastoral Care Volunteers explored the role they play for people feeling the pain of fear, anger or hopelessness, or for those wishing to focus on their spiritual strength, regardless of whether there is a connection to any particular faith or not. They spoke of the profound spiritual connection that can happen when they sit in silence and solidarity with another human being,.
In this third part of the series, Allison H. Fresher, Pastoral Care Volunteer at Connecticut Hospice, shares a contemplative piece about accompanying those in hardship and pain, and reports of the joy, emotional healing and opening of hearts that can come from human togetherness.
Come walk with me. We will walk along the beach together. I know there is a storm brewing this day. After all, this is the rainy season. Big, puffy clouds, filled with rain, sit heavily over our heads, unmoving, almost black. Our feet shift in the sand. Today, the water does not glisten nor reflect the sun’s rays. Rather, we see signs of the coming storm.
The tide is going out, the Sound’s whitecapped waters flowing towards the larger sea. I notice a puffy, white, ocean bird floating by us. I let go of your hand, so I can point it out to you. How amazing, I think. It rides the current, not fighting the water’s forceful flow. It seems almost joyful or certainly, at peace with the water’s chaos.
You turn your head and look. Now, we are both staring in the same direction. We join our hands again, holding them tightly. Together, we stand there, captivated.
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace*
*These lines excerpted from the Serenity Prayer, written by Reinhold Neibuhr in the 1940's
In acceptance, we find peace. In times of hardship, joined together, unexpected gifts captivate us. Joy can arise from sorrow. We may smile with fond memories or feel strengthened through forgiveness, given or received. Through our pain, spirituality may be discovered or reborn. In times of trial, these outcomes can happen; they often do happen. Yet, there may also be doubt.
When I enter a patient’s room, I sometimes perceive a patient or family member erecting an invisible wall. Due to real world experiences, some may fear that I will attempt to preach over their doubt, convert them to a particular faith tradition, or proselytize. Others may believe that, since we walked different paths in life, we cannot relate. I have had many of these same feelings, and so, I empathize.
As pastoral care providers, we respect difference and acknowledge doubt.
Answers to the hardest questions are elusive; as humans, simply put, there are mysteries.
Healing takes time, and acceptance can be hard won.
At Connecticut Hospice, we experience with our patients, their families, and even staff members, the broad range of emotions arising from pain.
Sometimes, we are the students, and our wonderful patients are the teachers.
Other times, we help those in need find their way to healing, faith and hope.
Either way, the most perfect gift is exchanged.
Our hearts are opened.
We are here to take the walk with you, looking out at the stormy sea together. Know this; in our humanness, even while in the worst pain, there is a path to acceptance and joy. At Connecticut Hospice, it has been a privilege to witness this powerful journey, over and over again.
The sun does come out, and the light again shines.
Further resources suggested by Allison:
https://tinybuddha.com provides simple wisdom for complex lives.
https://www.beliefnet.com helps people find and walk a spiritual path that instills comfort, hope, strength and happiness.
http://www.contemplativeoutreach.org provides resources in support of contemplative prayer, bringing calm and stillness to a hectic world.
In addition, readers should be encouraged to reach-out to the Connecticut Hospice Pastoral Care Department for helpful prayer resources aligned to each faith background:– 203-315-7512.
On June 24, Connecticut Hospice welcomed Dr. Nathan Wood, a Yale Primary Care Internal Medicine Resident, to a 2-week rotation with our Medical Department and the Interdisciplinary Team. Connecticut Hospice’s care-providers are not only proud to share their hospice and palliative care experience with new healthcare practitioners, but also pleased to receive additional knowledge from visiting practitioners.
Dr. Wood has published on a variety of topics, including hands-on curriculum for teaching practical nutrition, code-switching in medical settings, and the effects of fibromyalgia on long-term analgesic outcomes following total knee and hip replacement surgery.
Dr. Wood is also a graduate of the Institute of Culinary Education, where he won the Top Toque Award, presented by faculty for highest academic achievement. In 2017 and 2018 he worked as a Medical Student Producer for the Dr. Oz Show, and won a Production Award from The National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Daytime Emmy Awards. Obviously a man of many talents, our patients and staff have had the pleasure of hearing him play classical piano in our inpatient lobby when not practicing bedside medicine.
This is the first medical rotation since COVID-19 forced a temporary hold on clinical rotations at Connecticut Hospice. All rotations now include orientation on the correct use of PPE (Personal Protective Equipment) during the coronavirus pandemic.
In July three additional Hospice and Palliative Care Fellows will arrive for orientation prior to each performing a one-month rotation Inpatient and an additional two weeks in Home Care with our teams. We look forward to welcoming Dr. Faisal Radwi, Dr. Alex Choi, and Dr. Bryan Terry.
The John D. Thompson Hospice Institute for Education, Training and Research, Inc. (JDT), the educational ally of Connecticut Hospice, was established in 1979 to provide a vehicle for sharing hospice and palliative care philosophy, experience and skills with students, health care professionals, administrators, caregivers, and the community.
The JDT Hospice Institute offers high-quality continuing education services to physicians and nurses and is accredited to award both CMEs (Continuing Medical Education) and CNEs (Continuing Nursing Education). The Institute is also a premier clinical rotation site and annually host over 300 students from prestigious universities located both in and out of Connecticut and around the world.
To learn more, click here: The John D. Thompson Hospice Institute for Education, Training and Research
One of hospice care’s fundamental principles is to provide support not only to patients but also to their families. Until May 20, Mrs. Bachman was the patient in the Bachman family, fighting pancreatic cancer.
On May 21st that all changed and Mrs. Bachman was suddenly to become the family member, and soon a widow. On that day her husband unexpectedly collapsed and was rushed to YNHH where his condition was diagnosed as terminal.
On May 22 Mr. Bachman was referred to Connecticut Hospice. When he arrived at the inpatient facility, unfortunately state visiting policies during COVID-19 could only allow two visitors, his wife and daughter, to be with him in person.
The entire family gathered in front of the Connecticut Hospice facility hoping for a glimpse of the husband, father, father-in-law, grandfather, and great grandfather they hadn’t seen since his collapse, and probably would never see again.
As the ambulance arrived, the family gathered closer to voice how much they loved him and made heart shapes with their hands.
Staff Social Worker Stephanie Albright met with the family outside and realized how close Mr. Bachman was to the end of his life, and how important it was that this family got to see their loved one for one last time. She quickly contacted the nursing staff and coordinated a last-minute window visit.
Mr. Bachman was wheeled down to the window in the lobby, while outside his family stood, choking back tears but smiling with love.
They all raised their hands as one to make an "I Love You" sign, and sent him a final outpouring of love by singing one of his favorite songs to him: “Country Roads,” by John Denver. All the generations of Bachmans singing together to their loved one was amazing and profoundly moving to witness.
Since Mr. Bachman’s death, this large multi-generational family (4 adult children and spouses, 17 grandkids and 2 great grandkids) has come together to support each other in their sorrow, spending many days together working through the unexpected loss and sharing memories, meals, stories and grief.
They have also graciously allowed us to share their Connecticut Hospice experience with you.
This close, loving family has made an impression on our staff, but one member in particular has stood out from his adult relatives, not only because of his age, but for the words he spoke when sharing memories of his “Papa”. 8-year old great-grandson Jayden was asked how he would describe his Papa, and his answers are a testament to the deep connection shared by patients and families, and why treating the patient and family as one is of such importance.
“He put everyone else first, especially GG.”.
“He was kind.” “Papa was always respectful of everyone.”
“I know when he comes to visit it is his soul talking to mine.”
“When I see a heart, I know it is him.”
“I talk to him and tell him I hope he is happy and that I miss him.”
Connecticut Hospice Resources
Read more about the patient and family as one unit of care here Patients and Caregivers
For information on grief support click here: Bereavement Program
On Children and Grief
Hospice Foundation of America: Children and Grief
The Dougy Center/The National Center for Grieving Children and Families: How to Help a Grieving Child
Psychcentral: Children and Grief
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Admissions may be scheduled seven days a week.
Call our Centralized Intake Department: (203) 315-7540.
